Daily Zen: It’s all green

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Daily Zen: Roar

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Pity party over!

Being that my default persona is one of happiness, it’s hard being in a really bad funk for long.  While it’s easy for most people to wallow in self-pity, I find it painful.  I don’t like feeling bad and I want the feeling over ASAP.  And it’s amazing what a nap and chocolate cake can do to one’s spirits!  I had both yesterday, which I don’t allow myself often, so it was good to indulge.

By the end of the night I was thinking about all the things I’ll be able to do with space freed up in my life…less time focused on growing my business and more time doing the things I love that I’ve set aside.  More reading, more cooking, more paper crafting, more time lounging around with David, watching movies, playing games and just being.  I went to bed actually feeling really great about it all.

So the pity party is officially over!

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Daily Zen: Barn Light

Beauty in simplicity.

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Closed Doors: rejection…and faith

I’m having a really tough week.

The kind that really makes you doubt yourself, your course, your decisions.

And I’m also watching my gut and my ego fight a vicious battle right now…I know I should always trust my gut but my ego wants to keep holding on to the “what if…”

I’m facing a lot of rejection as an artist and it’s really breaking my heart.  Avenues I’m pursuing are not panning out, the other “baskets” I’m trying to put my proverbial eggs into are falling apart and I’m feeling crushed humbled by it all.

One of the more disappointing things I’ve learned this week, among others, is that the manufacturer that contacted me in August, that got me to take the leap into licensing and boosted my ego a thousand percent by all the things they wanted to do with my artwork decided to break contract and not produce my line.  Ouch.

I had been warned that this happens in art licensing a lot, but my first deal?  Really?  I’ve been working so hard, day and night since August to now face a complete letdown.  Can you blame me for feeling deflated?

Sorry that you’re witnessing my pity party.  I’m really not trying to get any sympathy, just trying to keep it real.  Because frankly I’m sick of reading so many blog posts from other creatives saying, “how great, I got this book deal and I’m going to be on TV and here’s my full line and yada yada,” but no one shares the crushing blow of rejection.  The 50 story fall off the pedestal you’ve been cautiously optimistic to climb.  There’s so much I haven’t gone into about my foray into art licensing (for privacy purposes and also to keep it professional) but I’m really questioning if I’m cut out for it.

The reality is this is hard.  Really hard.  And a lot of work…for a constant stream of disappointment.

I’m thinking I may just need to stop my ambition from trying to expand and grow too fast and keep my focus on my little Etsy shop for now where it’s safe and sweet.   Though I’m well aware of the “no risk, no reward” mantra, I’m feeling right now that it just might be safer and less heart-breaking to stay closer to home while I rebuild my confidence and revisit with my core values.

But, I’m also trying to remind myself to have faith.  That what’s meant to be is meant to be.  And if that means I’ll be the “starving artist” kind working at an average rate of $2/hour to pursue something I love and keeping it small, then perhaps I need to follow that path.  Because when I go back to why I made the decision to leave the corporate world to purse crafting and arts, it was to be able to spend more time with my husband and to spend more time doing what I love.  And I’ve been doing very little of both in the past 6 months.

I’ve always been one to sacrifice the money trail in order to follow the happiness trail and perhaps this rejection is the universe trying to navigate me back on my original path.  And so I will stop crying hot, salty tears of disappointment, pick myself up, dust myself off and take some time off to visit with my soul, visit with my husband and visit with artwork that doesn’t need anyone else’s approval but my own.

And that’s a wrap.  Thanks for allowing me to sit with my feelings and listening to me tell it like it is.  It ain’t always going to be pretty but it needs to be honest.

♥ jennifer

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Daily Zen: Twin Lakes

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Daily Zen: Moo

I really like cows and utilize any opportunity to take pictures of them, they just make me giggle.  This is just one of many I’ll include for my daily zen…if only to make you snicker

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Daily Zen: Frosted Trees

I have so much photography I’ve never shared here and because nature photography is a passion of mine and I don’t have time to manage a shop dedicated to my photos, I might as well share them here and give you some daily zen.  Some days I’ll give you a back story, others, I’ll just post the photo.

So on this frigid day I’ll post a pic of frost covered trees I captured in Aspen a couple of years ago while waiting for hours in 19 degree weather for the sun to rise on the Aspen peaks.  Enjoy from afar and stay warm!

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Tuesday Treasury: Baby it’s cold outside

It is quite chilly today…in the single digits and the weather begs for snuggling under a blanket and near a fire.  With that in mind, I created this Etsy treasury featuring handcrafted goods from other shop owners at Etsy:

Click on the image to see any of these items up close

Thanks for supporting these artisans!

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Playing with vintage photos

If you’ve followed my blog for a while, you’ll remember how I liked to play with vintage photos and alter them with collage techniques.  Then with the push to paint in the fall, I put my vintage photo collaging on the back burner.  Recently I’ve had the itch to play with them again and yesterday sat down to create 26, yes, 26 ACEO’s (art cards)!

The thing I love about creating ACEO collages is that their small size and use of photos means I can make dozens in the time it takes me to do one painting.  So when I’m feeling like I need instant gratification, ACEO’s are the way to go.

It actually started with a desire to create some Valentine-themed pieces to make into cards for my shop for the upcoming holiday (which I’ve just printed out today, so I’ll share pictures later on this week), but here’s a peak at one of the pieces:

I even did some light Valentine’s decorating this year (will share those pictures later in the week as well).  I love the festivity of holidays and seasons yet never decorate accordingly because I often found those decorative items wasteful.  But this year, I’ve decided to decorate seasonally using old items in my house in new ways as well as utilizing thrifted, vintage, eco-friendly finds, so I’ll be sure to share as I change up the themes in our home.

Would love your feedback on the vintage girls!  Hope you all have a good start to your week!

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